VPP Editor's Choice - Destroy All Humans! [Remake]

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The year is 1959. You and your lady friend decide to go share a root beer float from the local soda pop shop. Now that you're both full, you decide to cap off the night at the drive-in movie theater. The movie of choice: a film about how aliens are going to land on Earth. The aliens in the film have huge, oversized heads with bulging eyes; they snarl and show razor sharp teeth. Their alien ship is advanced beyond its time. They present firearms that can't be matched by the U.S. military. "Take me to your leader! We do NOT come in peace... we are here to take over your planet. Disobey our commands and we will DESTROY ALL HUMANS!"

It's at that moment that you turn to your lady friend; she has that look in her eyes that says, "Oh hold me, babe! This movie is really scary." All you can think at that moment is, "Perfect! Just the reaction I was hoping for." You lean in and pull her into your body. She clings on to your waist with one hand as the other is digging into your shoulder. She digs her head into your chest every time the camera shows the face of the alien; she's too afraid to watch the movie, but still doesn't want to miss a moment either. "Oh c'mon honey bear, if an alien ever showed up here on Earth, I'll take care of you. He's got another thing coming if he thinks he's getting anywhere near you. I'm not scared of no dang alien! HI-YAH, HI-YAHH *making chopping motions with hands*"


Per the official Destroy All Humans! website (which you can visit by clicking [here]):

In 1959 Cryptosporidium-137 arrives on Earth in search for his predecessor clone, Cryptosporidium-136. Crypto-136 disappeared after Orthopox-13 sent him to Earth to prepare the large scale extraction of human DNA.



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Crypto, as he is also known as, is here to extract human DNA and ultimately destroy all humans!

When Nordic bought THQ (hence the name THQ Nordic) in 2013, they in turn received the all the rights to Destroy All Humans! which was originally released in 2005. That's right, it's been 15 years, but Black Forest Games was tasked with remaking this cult-classic, third-person shooter.

And when people think third-person shooter involving aliens and the U.S. government, I'd be willing to bet that they aren't thinking you're playing from the alien's perspective. I mean, how often do you get to play as the bad guy by default? Well, I guess you have to define "bad guy" first, right? In Destroy All Humans!, you get to play as Crypto as he invades Earth, takes on the government, and attempts to extract human DNA in order to help save his own alien race; you get to see the world from the eyes of the aliens. This time, it's not about how to keep the invaders at bay or how to save Earth or how to stop the aliens from destroying everything... this time, it's all about invading and harvesting humans and destroying everything!


Back to our drive-in movie theater couple....

You've now turned on the radio and have stopped paying attention to the movie. As your lady looks up at you, you can tell from the twinkle in her eyes that she is putting all of her faith in you if aliens did indeed invade Earth. You both are pretty sure that it'll never happen because, I mean, aliens aren't real dude! They're just made up science fiction characters used to scare little kids into going to sleep early or to stop teenagers from running off into the woods to build forts. There is no such thing as extraterrestrial life forms.....

"We interrupt this regularly scheduled programming to bring you breaking news from the United States government. It has been confirmed that an alien life form has just landed here on Earth. We do not know its intentions at this time, but we advise all citizens to stay in their homes and lock their doors and windows until further notice. The government is currently attempting to communicate with the alien to determine its purpose for coming to Earth. Once again, please.........." It is at that moment that a big headed and beady-eyed creature not of this world bursts through the giant movie screen across the lawn. He points his weapon in a sweeping manner across the rows of cars, going from individual to individual. "Take me to your leader! I do NOT come in peace... I am here to take over your planet. Disobey my commands and I will DESTROY ALL HUMANS!" It is at that moment that your lady friend looks back up to you with that same look in her eyes she had when you said you would protect her. But as she looks at you, the life in your eyes seem to have faded, your face is pale, your body is motionless.... yeah, talk the talk but can't walk the walk.


It's pretty simple really; Destroy All Humans! is being remade after 15 years. The remake is providing even more weapons for your choosing. If you want to destroy Earth and its inhabitants, you'll need a wider arsenal than they had back in 2005. I mean, if human technological advances can grow exponentially in 15 years, imagine what extraterrestrial life forms are conjuring up. Playstation.com lists some of the weapons as:

"Take over all of humanity using a variety of alien weaponry such as a ray gun, an anal probe gun, the Ion Detonator, the Zap-O-Matic, the Sonic Boom, the Quantum Deconstructor, a powerful nuclear weapon that can launch radioactive bombs, and more – on land or in the air."

You go from the stereotypical ray gun to an anal probe gun!? What's an anal probe gun anyway? How does it work exactly? Umm... nevermind... I won't go there.



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In most movies featuring aliens, aliens are given a specific superpower. Aside from time and space travel and advanced intelligence, science fiction has given aliens the power of telekinesis. In other words, they can use their mind power to control yours; they can use their mind power to pick up livestock and hurl them at you; they can use their mind power to move cars and buildings. Destroy All Humans! is no different.



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What else will you need in order to travel from location to location? Why, a jet pack of course. Aside from being able to travel by foot, use the jet pack to fly short distances. A jet pack will come in handy especially in areas with lots of trees or bushes or cars or just any type of cover (maybe not so much for in between tall buildings). For longer distance travel and for an even better view from above, just hop into your UFO. But don't let the flying saucer fool you; it's for more than just air travel. Why have a flying saucer if it can't shoot giant lasers? There is no easier way to destroy city blocks than with a huge death ray from the seat of your advanced flying machine!



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There are currently three editions of the game you can purchase. According to the official Destroy All Humans! website, you get the following bonus items with the purchase of Destroy All Humans!:

Standard Edition: Sorry! No bonus items, just the game...

DNA Collector's Edition: Game ; Crypto’N’Cow Figurine 23cm / 9″ high Approx. ; Keychain ; 6 Lithographs ; Eye-popping anti-stress toy ; Premium Box 35cm * 30cm * 30cm/ 14″ * 12″ *12″ Approx .; Included All In-Game Crypto Skins

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Crypto 137 Edition: Game ; Crypto-137 Figurine 60cm / 23″ high, 30cm / 12″ diagonal Approx. [North hemisphere not transparent. No Brain Juice included – sorry. ]; Keychain ; 6 Lithographs ; Eye-popping anti-stress toy ; Premium Box 90cm * 38cm * 37* / 35″ * 15″ *15 Approx ; Included All In-Game Crypto Skins ; Crypto Backpack

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It was recently revealed that Destroy All Humans! remake will be available for PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One. Although a definitive release date has yet to be determined, you can still head over to the official Destroy All Humans! website by clicking [here] to pre-order your copy today.





Destroy All Humans!Black Forest GamesTHQ Nordic
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Chue ThaoFeb 11, 2020